Dearest Siblings,
I think it's about high time that you guys heard a report of my doings and goings on in the Capital of our great nation. Don't let the title fool you: it hasn't all been bluesy. In fact, occasionally it's been downright Bebopy, maybe with a little Latin mixed in, just for flavor ala Dizzy Gillespie. But it's been bluesy too. Anyway, enough jazz snobbery, I should get right to it.
First, I know you're both dying to hear about my infamous trip into the real West Wing. That, I have to say, was pretty awe inspiring, even if everything is incredibly smaller than it is on TV. A friend that I'm sure I've mentioned to both of you at one time or another and in who's parking lot the beast is currently parked, works for The Agency. I don't really know what she does, and I know that if I were to even make up something she'd be incredibly pissed because I put it on a blog - not that she'll ever be reading this. Regardless, she knows someone else in The agency who knows someone who works in the West Wing. As it turns out most of the office space that you see in the show The West Wing is actually in the EOB - the Executive Office Building. There are only 200 people (all political appointees) who actually work in the West Wing itself. The guy who did our tour - Dan - is 29 and works in Homeland Security. Actually he pretty much divides his time between the two buildings, but he's important enough to go where he pleases. Funnily enough, he's in charge of fixing FEMA and came on board during Katrina. I didn't mention it.
As a funny aside, some things really are like the TV show. He told us how he had come in just for a few hours on Saturday morning, mostly just to put us in the system so we'd be cleared with security. He didn't think it'd be a real work day, so he wore sweat pants. As it turns out, something happened (I actually don't know what) and everyone was called in. He'd had the foresight to leave a spare shirt, and a spare sports coat at the office - in fact, everything but pants. He was forced to go to all his meetings, some of them high level, in his sweat pants: funny stuff.
Anyway, we went in through the staff entrance through which everyone walks with the exception of the President. Yep, that means the Vice-President as well. The interior is decorated with ever changing photographs of what the administration has been doing that particular week. In my case, just about everything was about the State of the Union. The shot that was most memorable to me, partly because it was most frustrating, was a picture of the President in the Oval surrounded by his communications staff. His director of Com, his head speechwriter, and one of the lead speechwriters on this particular speech (Toby and Sam). The lead guy, not the head guy, but the lead writer is 25 years old. Jeezus that puts a lot of pressure on people who want to be there someday. Then again, maybe that's the problem.
So, skipping to the good parts, we ended up out in the Rose Garden, which, although a little smaller is just like it is in the movies. It fairly inspiring actually. It was at that point that I really couldn't believe that I was there, looking at the Oval office from the outside - as in from the Residence. Maybe I'm a nerd (maybe?) but seeing the flag flying over the residence and knowing I was walking between columns that FDR built gave me chills. Of course it was also freezing, but that's not the point. There is actually only one direct way from the Residence to the Oval and that's outside. FDR believed that it would be good for all presidents to be outside in their country before they went to work each morning, to get a little perspective. As it turns out, the President was actually in the Oval at this time - essentially waiting for us to leave so that he could go to the Residence untroubled. Was he more probably attending to business? Maybe, but I prefer to think that he was waiting on me. Anyway, we had to leave and go back inside.
Then we got to see inside all the important rooms - The Roosevelt Room, the Oval Office, and the Cabinet Room: all of which, by the way, are right next to each other and have no glass windows from the hallway. In fact, Dan said that most of the day doors are shut and the West Wing is completely quiet, completely unlike the West Wing of TV. Also, remember when Sam mistakenly tries to give a tour to Malory's elementary school kids and starts bullshitting about how the Roosevelt room was named after FDR not Theodore even though there's a big damn painting of him on the wall? Well, he actually wasn't wrong - the room is named after both of them in the interest of bipartisanship - FDR's Nobel peace prize is right next to the big damn painting.
Right next to the Oval is a Norman Rockwell painting of the statue of liberty. It was given to Bill Clinton by Steven Spielberg but gifts to the president are actually gifts to the country and in order to keep them you have to pay for them. Also, there seems to be some clause that says that the incoming can request certain art objects to remain or something like that. Anyway, the painting is worth $15 million dollars. It's just hanging there, not in a case or anything. There are of course dozens of original paintings, many on loan from Museums that are actually priceless, but I kind of expected that. This was just there - $15 million dollars. It was intense.
We left through the diplomatic entrance which was less impressive than you'd think. It looked kind of like a small library. Small in the sense of a small study with a few books in it. I wonder what visiting dignitaries think, but I kind of liked the lack of pomp. Outside we stood in the same spot that you see on TV whenever someone says, "I'm live reporting from the White House." I can see why - the building really is impressive, especially from the outside. And just to stand there - so close to the greatest potential in the world - was incredible.
Well then. I was actually going to launch into all my other Washington exploits (hence the Dubliner poster) and the reason why I've been drinking Whiskey (Elmer T. Lee) and listening to Modest Mouse (whenever I drink alone I listen to Modest Mouse) but I've gone on so long I think I'll just save all that for another day.
By the way Jackie boy, I did see the bit about Boston being lame and thought it was pretty strange that the news continued to cover it after the police had determined that it was harmless and only had a few parts that could have been used for a bomb. CNN was like "Bombs in Boston? Harmless or THE END OF THE WORLD?" Goddamn I hate the news. But now, being the heart disease of the country it's like I can't avoid watching TV news.
Affectionately Yours,
-W
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