Baseball

I've never been that big of a baseball fan. I mean, I've known the mechanics of the game since I was 5. Well, roughly. I mean, for my first season of T-ball I didn't really get that the first base coach wasn't actually on the team, so I'd always throw the ball to him. It makes sense, he was close to the bag, taller, and clearly the best player. Why shouldn't I throw it to him? I played ball for the 8 of the most formative years of my life, and then church softball for the next 6. Though I've never had a batbag of my own, I've never been without a fitting glove. I at least half-heartedly collected baseball cards and pored over my across the street neighbor Kade's Becket for hours looking up the latest prices on my investment. But that only lasted until I discovered Magic Cards.

You see, as much as I was indoctrinated into baseball from an early age, I never really cared so much about the sport. I liked to play it, though I doubt I ever really loved even that. Baseball is where I first learned the fear and humiliation of failure, after all. There's nothing quite as terrifying as walking up to the plate, knowing you aren't a very good hitter and that you probably need glasses but are too embarrassed by that fact to tell your parents, with all your teammates counting on you not to lose the game for them. It's enough to give you a perfectionist/fear-of-failure complex. Hmm. I remember making fast friends with players worse than I, bonded together in our mutual lower class athletic status. Still, at least partly I stood next to them to show the other kids that I was different - King of the Losers, so to speak, and therefore acceptable to the upper crust of raw athletic talent. I remember befriending the best player on the team, the coach's son, Brandon - my first man crush (by which I mean someone I wanted to be). Everything was easy for him. He was good at sports, but because he was so naturally gifted, he had no reason to be a jerk. He was king and didn't need to impress anyone, we all tried to impress him. Kids can be horribly cruel. I remember the temptations (to which I often succumbed) of trying to make yourself look better by attacking someone weirder or goofier looking or more stupid than yourself. And I remember that he never joined in. But of course, he didn't have to. He was already on the top.

The sad thing about that really is that I have, if not considerable, at least above average natural athletic ability. I can throw, I can run, I can make diving catches, and I can hit ok. Looking back now, it's easy to see that what really put me on the bottom was my fear itself. Had I been a little more carefree and less self-conscious I would have likely been a much better player.

I jumped into all this reminiscing only to say that, although I was never a fan of baseball, in that unlike many men of any age I don't have stats upon stats that I could run off in my head, I love it. No I don't know every player, even on my own favorite teams. But there is something about it that transcends statistics, or wins or losses. There is, of course, the glory of all athletic competition. There is something pure about Sport (capital S), something innocent that brings humanity together. But I mean more than that. Baseball itself has a quality that I've never run into in another sport - and its a distinctly American one. Likely that's only because that for about 50 years, every boy in the country played baseball at some point. Maybe soccer will become the new American pastime in years to come, but maybe there's really something about baseball itself. There's the smell of the grass, the dust of the infield, the lazy distractions of right field, and the sharp, nervous anticipation of Short Stop. And there's the crack of a wooden bat that signals an explosion of action.

Americans enjoy those tense situations...we like full count, bases loaded...or even 4th and inches. We like a pause, a chance to reflect before everything is decided. That is, after all, just good storytelling. Spectating baseball has its own, almost unexplainable charms. I only check scores on TV. The distance from the players and the lights of the field kills all the magic for me. But at a game...there's just nothing like it. I actually enjoy Football games more. The roar of the crowd, the press of bodies jumping up and down, 60,000 people all screaming for the same thing, united in passion for a good pass, a breakthrough run. But Baseball is different...and equal in its own lazy right. You can talk during baseball games. You can get up and walk around. You can watch the relief pitchers warm up in the bullpen. It's more than fun. It's like...being at home.

(Sorry for the essay form, kids, I wasn't originally planning to post this but I liked it - W.)